embryo donation

So we had planned on not posting any more on this blog. It served its purpose, plus who has time to write a blog post these days!?!  But I felt like I had to put this info out in Internet-land just in case some random person did a search and our blog just happened to show up!  

After the twins were born, we asked ourselves what we were going to do with the remaining three embryos that we still had frozen. Our plan from the start was that, if we were not going to use them, then we would most likely let them thaw and have them discarded.  After seeing the twins, I just couldn't do that. I looked at everything differently. I thought back to the picture of the embryos that we transferred and how those had turned into our beautiful perfect babies. These embryos deserved a shot. But we did not want to have any more children. 

Like many couples faced with this dilemma, we did some research and found that you basically have four options. (1) thaw and destroy, (2) donate to science, (3) freeze forever which also means pay the storage bill forever, (4) donate to another couple. 

Initially we thought, "Donate to another couple?  No we couldn't do that. That would be weird. We couldn't have a full biological sibling of the twins running around out there in the world. We wouldn't even know where our embryos would end up?  What if they were given to an anti-lgbt couple?  Then that biological sibling would be taught to hate families like ours. Donating to another couple is definitely not for us!"  

But as we thought about it, our view on it changed. The other options didn't seem so great. Thaw and destroy?  But we worked so hard to make them!  We can't just have them destroyed. Frozen forever?  No way!  No money for that option!  Donate to science?  Maybe. But what are they going to do to them?  We just kept coming back to the option of donating to another couple. It really was the best option. But we really wanted to know who was going to get them. We also wanted to have some contact so that our twins would know any child that resulted from such a donation. 

Then we found a website called Miracles Waiting. They work to link up embryo donors with couples or individuals who are having trouble conceiving. Most have turned to embryo donation as a last resort after multiple unsuccessful fertility treatments. 

This is where it started to get exciting!  We could potentially be helping to make someone else's dream if having a child come true. So few couples actually choose to donate embryos. So it's actually pretty hard to find embryo donors. But it's especially hard to find embryo donors who are willing to donate to same sex couples and single parents, which I think it so sad and unfair. So these are the people who we focused on when we were trying to find a good match for us. We looked through a ton of profiles and narrowed it down to two lesbian couples. We ended up choosing the one who lived closer to us (only about 3 hours away).  Side note:  This couple posted their profile on Miracles Waiting on February 5th, the day after the twins were born. I'm a firm believer in things happening in your life exactly when and how they are supposed to happen.  And with the dates matching up like that, I felt like the universe was saying, "Hey guys!  You don't need these embryos any more, but here is someone who does."

We contacted them via email and text message and got a response!!  We sent a few more emails back and forth discussing specifics and then we finally decided to meet. We met up with them for lunch. They were older (early 40s) and were pretty much told not to bother with IVF due to poor egg quality. We spent a few hours talking with them and thought they were a great couple. We had found our recipient couple!  They were of course beyond ecstatic that we had chosen to donate to them. But now we had to work out the details. 

This is a long story, so here is the short version. They found a lawyer, we found a lawyer. Their lawyer drew up a contract. Our lawyer looked it over and advised us on any potential changes to the contract. We all signed it. Then we transferred the embryos into their names and had them shipped to their clinic. The main things that we wanted in the contract were: no financial liability for us, a visit for the siblings every two years, and the embryos should be returned to us if they were not going to be used in three years. Obviously there were other things in the contract, but these were most important to us. 

So for their first FET, they only transferred one embryo and the result was a negative pregnancy test. :(  They just did the second FET where they transferred the remaining two embryos and sadly, they are not pregnant. :(

We had really truly hoped that this would work for them. I'm hopeful that they will find another embryo donor to continue on with their journey to parenthood. 

So I guess my point is that even though it didn't work out for this couple, we are still soo glad that we decided to go this route!  And I would encourage other people in the same situation, to please carefully consider all your options. Donating to another couple has made our journey feel even more complete. 

we made babies!!!

Wow!  What a whirlwind the past 6 weeks have been. Andrea left off the day before the delivery of our two precious, perfect little babies. Sooo much has happened since then!  Here is the short version...


On Monday February 4th,  I delivered Edyn Carmel at 8:55 am and Harrison Lee at 8:56 am via c-section at 37 weeks.  Edyn was 6lbs 4oz and Harrison was 6lbs 2 oz.  Edyn spent a short time in the nicu due to low blood sugar, but Harrison got to stay with us the entire time we were in the mother/baby unit.


I was released from the hospital on Friday February 8th and we all went home after 19 days in the hospital. My blood pressure was 150/90, so I was told to check it several times a day and call my ob if it went above that.  That night it was up to 170/100, so I called my ob the next day. I was told to take a water pill and come in for an appt on Monday. That night at bedtime, I noticed that there was something wrong with the right side of my face, some slight paralysis. So I called my parents to come up to help with the babies and Andrea and I raced off to the hospital wondering if I was having a stroke or if I just had bells palsy.


I was admitted into the ER faster than ever and put on a magnesium drip.  My blood pressure was 190/120.  I then had a cat scan and an MRI by the next morning which showed that my paralysis was not brain related. They said I was dealing with 2 separate problems... Bells palsy and postpartum preeclampsia. The preeclampsia was supposed to go away with the delivery of the placenta.  But apparently, in 1% of people, the preeclampsia sticks around!  Lucky me!  If I had a 1% chance of winning the lottery, it would never happen!


This all resulted in a 9-day stay in the hospital for a grand total of 28 days!!  The whole time, the ob and Mfm doctors were trying to get my blood pressure under control. Finally, they called in a kidney doctor who was able to figure it out. He put me on a med called lisinopril which worked like a charm!  I was finally out of the hospital for good a few days before my birthday. So I got to spend my 30th at home with my two munchkins!  Best birthday yet!!!


Since I left the hospital, I have had a follow-up appt with the kidney doctor. Luckily my blood pressure seems to be slowly getting lower on its own. So I can take less medication. I had been taking 2 different types of meds for a total of 4 pills a day. Now I'm down to 3 pills a day and I'll probably be down to 2 pills a day very soon. Although it seems to be getting slightly better, the doctor already said that with my family history, I may have high blood pressure now permanently. If not now, I will develop it later on in life.  I should mention that i had never had high blood pressure prior to pregnancy... And actually my blood pressure in pregnancy was normal until i was admitted in to the hospital at 35 weeks. I also had my postpartum glucose test which showed that I no longer have diabetes. At least that was only a pregnancy thing.  As far as my other "problems".... The cholestasis went away on its own and now the bells palsy is gone too.


I missed the babies soo much in the hospital that I'm pretty sure I got more than a few false high blood pressure readings just from that!  I felt like I was missing so much with them. I obviously knew that I had to get well in order to enjoy them, but I would just get so sad sometimes being in there away from them. Luckily Andrea and my mon would bring them in for a few hours every day.  But it wasn't the same as being home with them. Because of all that, I decided to extend my maternity leave by 3 1/2 weeks.  Also due to my extended stay in the hospital, trying to breast feed them would have been stressful for all of us. So I had to give up on that. However I am pumping, and supplementing with formula, so they are getting half breast milk and half formula.


The good news is that we are all together now and Edyn and Harrison are doing great!!  They are just over 8lbs now and are outgrowing newborn clothing already. They have such cute little personalities. They make the funniest faces and noises. And they love to snuggle!  I just love them to pieces!!

There are soo many funny stories about them that I would love to share,  most involve peeing, pooping, colic, breast milk, spitting up, sneezing, etc...but it would take hours to share them all. And I don't have hours to spare anymore!


Edyn and Harrison have been such a blessing.  They have changed our lives forever in the best way possible. I love them with all my heart! And I would do anything for them.  A friend of mine said that you don't realize how much your parents love you until you have a baby. Because you just feel such unconditional love for them that you can't really put into words.  That's exactly how I feel about my sweet little babies. :)


I know we're in for a wild ride...  Especially over the next few years.  But I wouldn't trade it for the world!  <3

36 weeks, 6 days update (so close!)

Here we are spending our last day as a childless couple in Marisa's room in labor and delivery. As of tomorrow she will have been in here for 2 weeks, and as of tomorrow this whole journey will have been worth the wait as we will be welcoming our babies into the world. Marisa's C-section is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8:30, and so the next time we update this blog we will be moms!

I can't even begin to describe how amazing Marisa has been this entire pregnancy. She's been so strong through all of the ups and downs and she just manages to hold it all together for those 2 babies growing inside of her. I am so appreciative of her for going through all of this so that we can start a family. I am the luckiest girl in the world to be able to call her my wife, and these babies may or may not know it yet, but they are so lucky to have her as their mother. I love you Ris!

36 week update!

Today is 36 weeks, and it looks like the doctors finally had a pow-wow and have agreed that if she can make it (that the preeclampsia doesn't get worse) to 37 weeks (February 4th) then that's when the babies will be born. So we are back to the c-section that we had originally scheduled.

A lot has actually happened since my post yesterday. Once we got the news that everyone was in agreement the one doctor asked "can't we get her out of this room if she's going to be in here another week? It's depressing" which was very true as it was dark and her window just faced other windows a so it didn't really matter that she even had one. And so they moved us to another room which is slightly smaller, but has a view of the emergency room entrance and the helicopter landing pad so at least it's something to look at- another bonus is that this room has a pullout couch so I no longer have to sleep in a recliner I actually had a bed last night! It's the little things ;)

The doctors say that Marisa is doing really well and that her body seems to be responding to the bedrest in that things aren't getting worse, yet they do continue to monitor her. And let's talk about those babies... They measured them this morning and Edyn is 6 lbs. 12 oz. and Harrison is 7 lbs. 1 oz.!!! You can only imagine how tiny little Marisa is carrying all that weight around! We never expected them to be that big already, but it's great that they are!

So that's your Monday morning update. Everything could change again by Monday evening but we will just have to wait and see!

Cholestasis and Gestational Diabetes and Preeclampsia, oh my!

It's no lions, tigers or bears- but nonetheless it's a lot of scary stuff. The last we left off Marisa had Cholestasis and was on her new feeding frenzy with the Gestational Diabetes diet. Well, after a week of being on her new diet she went in to meet with the doctor and she had gained 9 lbs.... In a WEEK! They also learned at her appointment that not only were her feet and ankles swollen, but so were her entire legs. As if all of that wasn't enough, she also had high blood pressure. They sent her to labor and delivery at the hospital immediately where they started to monitor her. What we thought was going to be 3 hours of monitoring turned into her being admitted and an overnight in the hospital. The next 24 hours involved her urine being monitored as well as her vitals, her blood and the babies. They also had her doubled up in a room because labor and delivery was so crowded - there were actually 8 women in here pregnant with twins! Anyway, while in the doubled up room she experienced several things- extremely cramped quarters, a roommate with the flu, a second roommate who was a pain in the ass and last but not least the diagnosis of having preeclampsia and that she would be in the hospital until she delivered. They also wanted to push up her c-section from 37 weeks (Feb 4th) to 36 weeks.

2 days later they moved her into a private room which is where we've been hanging out for the rest of the week and where she will be until she delivers. So when is 36 weeks? Tomorrow is 36 weeks. Are we delivering tomorrow? No freakin' clue! There are conflicting reports- every day we get a visit from a Dr. from the OBs office and they tell us we are delivering at 36 weeks- then maybe an hour later we will get a visit from a Dr. from the high risk place and they will tell us that we will see what happens at 36 weeks and maybe we can stick with the delivery at 37 weeks. You can imagine how confusing this all is for us and we wish that the Drs. would talk to each other and then tell us what they decide.

Marisa is hanging in there, staying strong, and making the best of being in the hospital this past week and possibly another full week before delivery. She's bored- which is to be expected, and she's in pain- but that's more from the twins growing and pushing on her ribs making her more uncomfortable than anything else.

So that's the update. We don't know anything more than we did when she was admitted a week ago. Neither the babies or Marisa are in any danger at this point though, and that's what is important. Hopefully we will have something more to report on soon! Stay tuned!

weekend update! =P

Well tomorrow is 35 weeks!  Hard to believe that we made it to this point considering everything we've been through.  We're extremely grateful!  :)

So here's the short version of the update...

- I went to the gestational diabetes people last monday and now they have me eating all these carbs and proteins that I feel like I have no time to eat veggies.  My blood glucose level has been well below the cut off every time I test.  I'm still trying to eat as healthy as possible - lean meats, fruit, yogurt, etc.  But with the volume of food they want me to eat, I've gained 6 pounds in one week.  That's just ridiculous.  I'm meeting with them one more time tomorrow, and I'm going to bring that up and see what they say.  I feel like, with the diet that they put me on, I'm constantly eating.  Several times I would just cry cause I couldn't eat anymore and once I actually threw up.  SO we'll see what they say tomorrow.

- While all my liver tests came back within normal ranges, the doctors said that I most likely have a mild case of cholestasis since I still have all the symptoms.  I'm still on meds for that and they told me to take it with benadryl at night.  If that doesn't help, they will up the amount next week.

- This is my last week of work!!  yay!!  By the time my leave begins on January 28th, I will be 36 weeks.  I have to say that I'm pretty proud of myself for lasting this long teaching kindergarten AND carrying twins.  With that said, I definitely could NOT last another week!  :)


AND now the biggest news of all......

- The doctors were going to schedule a c-section at 38 weeks because of Edyn (baby A) being breech.  HOWEVER, they bumped it up to 37 weeks because of the cholestasis. SO we have officially scheduled a c-section for Monday, February 4th at 8:30 am.  That's when we will finally get to see our two little loves!  unless of course i go into labor before then.  =P

that's only 2 weeks away!!  praying for a healthy delivery of our two happy, healthy, beautiful little babies!  and here's hoping we have a productive, stress and drama free, well-rested next couple of weeks.  cause we're definitely going to need it!   :)

32 week ultraound and all my ailments!

So I call this week "my week of ailments"... although it's actually been more like 2 weeks.  It all started on December 22nd, the first day of my 11 day winter break at school.  I wasn't feeling so great, so I took my temperature and it was 99 degrees, I figured it was no big deal and took some tylenol.  On Sunday, my fever was a bit higher 100.5, so i called the OB and they said to just drink lots of fluids and keep taking tylenol.  The doc said that if my temp hits above 102, then I should go to see my family doctor.  Well don't ya know that on Monday the 24th, Christmas Eve, my temperature is 102.3.  So off i go to my family doctor.  By the time i get there, my fever is over 103 degrees.  Long story short, he decided to do an influenza test and I officially had the flu for the first time in my life.  I even got a flu shot this year!!  Anyway, he said I couldn't go to Christmas celebrations because I was highly contagious and so i was stuck at home and missed all the fun.  I felt like crap anyway, so even if i wasn't contagious, i probably would not have had fun.  But now here we are 14 days later and i'm still insanely congested and i barely have a voice.  And this is only the beginning of my many ailments.....

I was supposed to go to do the glucose test (for the third time) on December 29th, but they told me to stay home because I was still recovering and to go the following saturday, which would be this saturday, January 5th.  So I went yesterday and did the test.  By the time I left there I wasn't feeling quite right, but i wanted to stop at the wawa to get lunch.  Walking around the wawa, I started to get light-headed and very shaky and very warm.  I decided that I should eat something asap and not wait until i got home.  so i picked up an extra cheese stick and some grapes.  I ate them in my car on the way home, but i was still shaking when i got there.  The shaking really didn't go away until I finished eating my lunch and chilled out on the couch for a while.  I kinda figured at this point that the test result was not going to be good because i felt so awful.  Well, I got a phone call a few hours later from one of the OB docs asking if I was okay.  she said that when she looked at my bloodwork, my last blood draw was so low that I was hypoglycemic for a little bit.  I asked her about the other blood draws and she said that I had 2 abnormal results and then the last one which dropped significantly at the end.  So the doctor said that she was just checking on me but that someone would call me on Monday to set up an appointment to talk to a nutritionist.  She said that I should NOT have to take any medication to control it, which makes me think that my abnormal numbers are actually only slightly high just like they were on the last 2 tests.  So ailment number 2 is... gestational diabetes.  :(

On to ailment number 3!  for the past few weeks i've been itchy.  i know, this sounds like a pretty minor problem and you're probably thinking, "really marisa?  you're itchy?  get over it!"  it started with just my belly being itchy which is pretty normal and then I started to get itchy all over.  but i kinda figured it was just dry skin from the cold weather.  for the past 2-3 days, my hands and feet (mostly my palms and the soles of my feet) have been unusually itchy.  Then last night, my hands and feet were really really itchy.  it was almost unbearable!  So I took a shower, put lotion everywhere including slathering it all over my hands and feet, and went to bed.  When I woke up this morning, I was slightly itchy again.  so i decided to google it and what i found is that itchy hands and feet along with all-over itching with no rash could be a sign of a liver problem called cholestasis.  from what i was reading, it doesn't really affect the mother (other than the itching) but it does affect the babies if it is left untreated.  of course, by this point I was freaking out and crying.  so i called the on-call nurse and she had the doctor call me.  luckily it was one of the doctors that we like.  i explained everything to her and she told me everything that i had just read online.  she didn't want to send me out in the cold to find a place to take my blood on a sunday or send me into the hospital where i would be re-exposed to the flu.  so she said that she would have the nurse call me tomorrow so that i could set up an appointment to go in to be monitored and then they would give me the paper for the bloodwork.  she said to pay attention to the babies' movements today and if they were not moving then i should call back.  luckily, they have been moving just fine today, no more or less than usual.  in the meantime, she has already put me on the meds for the cholestasis.  

so basically, i'm still getting over the flu after two weeks, i have officially been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and it looks like i now have a liver problem.  just a side note, gestational diabetes and cholestasis are both more common if you are having multiples.  AND cholestasis only occurs in 1 percent of pregnant women... of course, i would be in that 1 percent!

In other news, we went for the 32 week ultrasound on december 31st, and the babies were looking great.  Edyn was 4lbs 4 oz and Harrison was 4 lbs 8 oz!  That's just about 9 lbs of baby!!  :)  Then on this past friday, we went in for our first monitoring appointment.  Again we were told that they are looking good, so that makes me feel a lot better even with all these ailments!!

at the friday appointment the doc was also talking about delivery.  he said that the next time we come in, he would schedule a c-section for 38 weeks, just in case we need it.  unfortunately, Edyn (baby A) is breech.  Harrison in head down and ready to go, but it doesn't matter because she's in the way and in the wrong position.  so unless she flips or i go into labor, it looks like it will be a c-section sometime around february 11th.  only time will tell!  tomorrow marks 33 weeks!!!  :)

btw, now that you've read all this, can you believe i'm still working????   lol!