embryo donation

So we had planned on not posting any more on this blog. It served its purpose, plus who has time to write a blog post these days!?!  But I felt like I had to put this info out in Internet-land just in case some random person did a search and our blog just happened to show up!  

After the twins were born, we asked ourselves what we were going to do with the remaining three embryos that we still had frozen. Our plan from the start was that, if we were not going to use them, then we would most likely let them thaw and have them discarded.  After seeing the twins, I just couldn't do that. I looked at everything differently. I thought back to the picture of the embryos that we transferred and how those had turned into our beautiful perfect babies. These embryos deserved a shot. But we did not want to have any more children. 

Like many couples faced with this dilemma, we did some research and found that you basically have four options. (1) thaw and destroy, (2) donate to science, (3) freeze forever which also means pay the storage bill forever, (4) donate to another couple. 

Initially we thought, "Donate to another couple?  No we couldn't do that. That would be weird. We couldn't have a full biological sibling of the twins running around out there in the world. We wouldn't even know where our embryos would end up?  What if they were given to an anti-lgbt couple?  Then that biological sibling would be taught to hate families like ours. Donating to another couple is definitely not for us!"  

But as we thought about it, our view on it changed. The other options didn't seem so great. Thaw and destroy?  But we worked so hard to make them!  We can't just have them destroyed. Frozen forever?  No way!  No money for that option!  Donate to science?  Maybe. But what are they going to do to them?  We just kept coming back to the option of donating to another couple. It really was the best option. But we really wanted to know who was going to get them. We also wanted to have some contact so that our twins would know any child that resulted from such a donation. 

Then we found a website called Miracles Waiting. They work to link up embryo donors with couples or individuals who are having trouble conceiving. Most have turned to embryo donation as a last resort after multiple unsuccessful fertility treatments. 

This is where it started to get exciting!  We could potentially be helping to make someone else's dream if having a child come true. So few couples actually choose to donate embryos. So it's actually pretty hard to find embryo donors. But it's especially hard to find embryo donors who are willing to donate to same sex couples and single parents, which I think it so sad and unfair. So these are the people who we focused on when we were trying to find a good match for us. We looked through a ton of profiles and narrowed it down to two lesbian couples. We ended up choosing the one who lived closer to us (only about 3 hours away).  Side note:  This couple posted their profile on Miracles Waiting on February 5th, the day after the twins were born. I'm a firm believer in things happening in your life exactly when and how they are supposed to happen.  And with the dates matching up like that, I felt like the universe was saying, "Hey guys!  You don't need these embryos any more, but here is someone who does."

We contacted them via email and text message and got a response!!  We sent a few more emails back and forth discussing specifics and then we finally decided to meet. We met up with them for lunch. They were older (early 40s) and were pretty much told not to bother with IVF due to poor egg quality. We spent a few hours talking with them and thought they were a great couple. We had found our recipient couple!  They were of course beyond ecstatic that we had chosen to donate to them. But now we had to work out the details. 

This is a long story, so here is the short version. They found a lawyer, we found a lawyer. Their lawyer drew up a contract. Our lawyer looked it over and advised us on any potential changes to the contract. We all signed it. Then we transferred the embryos into their names and had them shipped to their clinic. The main things that we wanted in the contract were: no financial liability for us, a visit for the siblings every two years, and the embryos should be returned to us if they were not going to be used in three years. Obviously there were other things in the contract, but these were most important to us. 

So for their first FET, they only transferred one embryo and the result was a negative pregnancy test. :(  They just did the second FET where they transferred the remaining two embryos and sadly, they are not pregnant. :(

We had really truly hoped that this would work for them. I'm hopeful that they will find another embryo donor to continue on with their journey to parenthood. 

So I guess my point is that even though it didn't work out for this couple, we are still soo glad that we decided to go this route!  And I would encourage other people in the same situation, to please carefully consider all your options. Donating to another couple has made our journey feel even more complete. 

we made babies!!!

Wow!  What a whirlwind the past 6 weeks have been. Andrea left off the day before the delivery of our two precious, perfect little babies. Sooo much has happened since then!  Here is the short version...


On Monday February 4th,  I delivered Edyn Carmel at 8:55 am and Harrison Lee at 8:56 am via c-section at 37 weeks.  Edyn was 6lbs 4oz and Harrison was 6lbs 2 oz.  Edyn spent a short time in the nicu due to low blood sugar, but Harrison got to stay with us the entire time we were in the mother/baby unit.


I was released from the hospital on Friday February 8th and we all went home after 19 days in the hospital. My blood pressure was 150/90, so I was told to check it several times a day and call my ob if it went above that.  That night it was up to 170/100, so I called my ob the next day. I was told to take a water pill and come in for an appt on Monday. That night at bedtime, I noticed that there was something wrong with the right side of my face, some slight paralysis. So I called my parents to come up to help with the babies and Andrea and I raced off to the hospital wondering if I was having a stroke or if I just had bells palsy.


I was admitted into the ER faster than ever and put on a magnesium drip.  My blood pressure was 190/120.  I then had a cat scan and an MRI by the next morning which showed that my paralysis was not brain related. They said I was dealing with 2 separate problems... Bells palsy and postpartum preeclampsia. The preeclampsia was supposed to go away with the delivery of the placenta.  But apparently, in 1% of people, the preeclampsia sticks around!  Lucky me!  If I had a 1% chance of winning the lottery, it would never happen!


This all resulted in a 9-day stay in the hospital for a grand total of 28 days!!  The whole time, the ob and Mfm doctors were trying to get my blood pressure under control. Finally, they called in a kidney doctor who was able to figure it out. He put me on a med called lisinopril which worked like a charm!  I was finally out of the hospital for good a few days before my birthday. So I got to spend my 30th at home with my two munchkins!  Best birthday yet!!!


Since I left the hospital, I have had a follow-up appt with the kidney doctor. Luckily my blood pressure seems to be slowly getting lower on its own. So I can take less medication. I had been taking 2 different types of meds for a total of 4 pills a day. Now I'm down to 3 pills a day and I'll probably be down to 2 pills a day very soon. Although it seems to be getting slightly better, the doctor already said that with my family history, I may have high blood pressure now permanently. If not now, I will develop it later on in life.  I should mention that i had never had high blood pressure prior to pregnancy... And actually my blood pressure in pregnancy was normal until i was admitted in to the hospital at 35 weeks. I also had my postpartum glucose test which showed that I no longer have diabetes. At least that was only a pregnancy thing.  As far as my other "problems".... The cholestasis went away on its own and now the bells palsy is gone too.


I missed the babies soo much in the hospital that I'm pretty sure I got more than a few false high blood pressure readings just from that!  I felt like I was missing so much with them. I obviously knew that I had to get well in order to enjoy them, but I would just get so sad sometimes being in there away from them. Luckily Andrea and my mon would bring them in for a few hours every day.  But it wasn't the same as being home with them. Because of all that, I decided to extend my maternity leave by 3 1/2 weeks.  Also due to my extended stay in the hospital, trying to breast feed them would have been stressful for all of us. So I had to give up on that. However I am pumping, and supplementing with formula, so they are getting half breast milk and half formula.


The good news is that we are all together now and Edyn and Harrison are doing great!!  They are just over 8lbs now and are outgrowing newborn clothing already. They have such cute little personalities. They make the funniest faces and noises. And they love to snuggle!  I just love them to pieces!!

There are soo many funny stories about them that I would love to share,  most involve peeing, pooping, colic, breast milk, spitting up, sneezing, etc...but it would take hours to share them all. And I don't have hours to spare anymore!


Edyn and Harrison have been such a blessing.  They have changed our lives forever in the best way possible. I love them with all my heart! And I would do anything for them.  A friend of mine said that you don't realize how much your parents love you until you have a baby. Because you just feel such unconditional love for them that you can't really put into words.  That's exactly how I feel about my sweet little babies. :)


I know we're in for a wild ride...  Especially over the next few years.  But I wouldn't trade it for the world!  <3

36 weeks, 6 days update (so close!)

Here we are spending our last day as a childless couple in Marisa's room in labor and delivery. As of tomorrow she will have been in here for 2 weeks, and as of tomorrow this whole journey will have been worth the wait as we will be welcoming our babies into the world. Marisa's C-section is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8:30, and so the next time we update this blog we will be moms!

I can't even begin to describe how amazing Marisa has been this entire pregnancy. She's been so strong through all of the ups and downs and she just manages to hold it all together for those 2 babies growing inside of her. I am so appreciative of her for going through all of this so that we can start a family. I am the luckiest girl in the world to be able to call her my wife, and these babies may or may not know it yet, but they are so lucky to have her as their mother. I love you Ris!

36 week update!

Today is 36 weeks, and it looks like the doctors finally had a pow-wow and have agreed that if she can make it (that the preeclampsia doesn't get worse) to 37 weeks (February 4th) then that's when the babies will be born. So we are back to the c-section that we had originally scheduled.

A lot has actually happened since my post yesterday. Once we got the news that everyone was in agreement the one doctor asked "can't we get her out of this room if she's going to be in here another week? It's depressing" which was very true as it was dark and her window just faced other windows a so it didn't really matter that she even had one. And so they moved us to another room which is slightly smaller, but has a view of the emergency room entrance and the helicopter landing pad so at least it's something to look at- another bonus is that this room has a pullout couch so I no longer have to sleep in a recliner I actually had a bed last night! It's the little things ;)

The doctors say that Marisa is doing really well and that her body seems to be responding to the bedrest in that things aren't getting worse, yet they do continue to monitor her. And let's talk about those babies... They measured them this morning and Edyn is 6 lbs. 12 oz. and Harrison is 7 lbs. 1 oz.!!! You can only imagine how tiny little Marisa is carrying all that weight around! We never expected them to be that big already, but it's great that they are!

So that's your Monday morning update. Everything could change again by Monday evening but we will just have to wait and see!

Cholestasis and Gestational Diabetes and Preeclampsia, oh my!

It's no lions, tigers or bears- but nonetheless it's a lot of scary stuff. The last we left off Marisa had Cholestasis and was on her new feeding frenzy with the Gestational Diabetes diet. Well, after a week of being on her new diet she went in to meet with the doctor and she had gained 9 lbs.... In a WEEK! They also learned at her appointment that not only were her feet and ankles swollen, but so were her entire legs. As if all of that wasn't enough, she also had high blood pressure. They sent her to labor and delivery at the hospital immediately where they started to monitor her. What we thought was going to be 3 hours of monitoring turned into her being admitted and an overnight in the hospital. The next 24 hours involved her urine being monitored as well as her vitals, her blood and the babies. They also had her doubled up in a room because labor and delivery was so crowded - there were actually 8 women in here pregnant with twins! Anyway, while in the doubled up room she experienced several things- extremely cramped quarters, a roommate with the flu, a second roommate who was a pain in the ass and last but not least the diagnosis of having preeclampsia and that she would be in the hospital until she delivered. They also wanted to push up her c-section from 37 weeks (Feb 4th) to 36 weeks.

2 days later they moved her into a private room which is where we've been hanging out for the rest of the week and where she will be until she delivers. So when is 36 weeks? Tomorrow is 36 weeks. Are we delivering tomorrow? No freakin' clue! There are conflicting reports- every day we get a visit from a Dr. from the OBs office and they tell us we are delivering at 36 weeks- then maybe an hour later we will get a visit from a Dr. from the high risk place and they will tell us that we will see what happens at 36 weeks and maybe we can stick with the delivery at 37 weeks. You can imagine how confusing this all is for us and we wish that the Drs. would talk to each other and then tell us what they decide.

Marisa is hanging in there, staying strong, and making the best of being in the hospital this past week and possibly another full week before delivery. She's bored- which is to be expected, and she's in pain- but that's more from the twins growing and pushing on her ribs making her more uncomfortable than anything else.

So that's the update. We don't know anything more than we did when she was admitted a week ago. Neither the babies or Marisa are in any danger at this point though, and that's what is important. Hopefully we will have something more to report on soon! Stay tuned!

weekend update! =P

Well tomorrow is 35 weeks!  Hard to believe that we made it to this point considering everything we've been through.  We're extremely grateful!  :)

So here's the short version of the update...

- I went to the gestational diabetes people last monday and now they have me eating all these carbs and proteins that I feel like I have no time to eat veggies.  My blood glucose level has been well below the cut off every time I test.  I'm still trying to eat as healthy as possible - lean meats, fruit, yogurt, etc.  But with the volume of food they want me to eat, I've gained 6 pounds in one week.  That's just ridiculous.  I'm meeting with them one more time tomorrow, and I'm going to bring that up and see what they say.  I feel like, with the diet that they put me on, I'm constantly eating.  Several times I would just cry cause I couldn't eat anymore and once I actually threw up.  SO we'll see what they say tomorrow.

- While all my liver tests came back within normal ranges, the doctors said that I most likely have a mild case of cholestasis since I still have all the symptoms.  I'm still on meds for that and they told me to take it with benadryl at night.  If that doesn't help, they will up the amount next week.

- This is my last week of work!!  yay!!  By the time my leave begins on January 28th, I will be 36 weeks.  I have to say that I'm pretty proud of myself for lasting this long teaching kindergarten AND carrying twins.  With that said, I definitely could NOT last another week!  :)


AND now the biggest news of all......

- The doctors were going to schedule a c-section at 38 weeks because of Edyn (baby A) being breech.  HOWEVER, they bumped it up to 37 weeks because of the cholestasis. SO we have officially scheduled a c-section for Monday, February 4th at 8:30 am.  That's when we will finally get to see our two little loves!  unless of course i go into labor before then.  =P

that's only 2 weeks away!!  praying for a healthy delivery of our two happy, healthy, beautiful little babies!  and here's hoping we have a productive, stress and drama free, well-rested next couple of weeks.  cause we're definitely going to need it!   :)

32 week ultraound and all my ailments!

So I call this week "my week of ailments"... although it's actually been more like 2 weeks.  It all started on December 22nd, the first day of my 11 day winter break at school.  I wasn't feeling so great, so I took my temperature and it was 99 degrees, I figured it was no big deal and took some tylenol.  On Sunday, my fever was a bit higher 100.5, so i called the OB and they said to just drink lots of fluids and keep taking tylenol.  The doc said that if my temp hits above 102, then I should go to see my family doctor.  Well don't ya know that on Monday the 24th, Christmas Eve, my temperature is 102.3.  So off i go to my family doctor.  By the time i get there, my fever is over 103 degrees.  Long story short, he decided to do an influenza test and I officially had the flu for the first time in my life.  I even got a flu shot this year!!  Anyway, he said I couldn't go to Christmas celebrations because I was highly contagious and so i was stuck at home and missed all the fun.  I felt like crap anyway, so even if i wasn't contagious, i probably would not have had fun.  But now here we are 14 days later and i'm still insanely congested and i barely have a voice.  And this is only the beginning of my many ailments.....

I was supposed to go to do the glucose test (for the third time) on December 29th, but they told me to stay home because I was still recovering and to go the following saturday, which would be this saturday, January 5th.  So I went yesterday and did the test.  By the time I left there I wasn't feeling quite right, but i wanted to stop at the wawa to get lunch.  Walking around the wawa, I started to get light-headed and very shaky and very warm.  I decided that I should eat something asap and not wait until i got home.  so i picked up an extra cheese stick and some grapes.  I ate them in my car on the way home, but i was still shaking when i got there.  The shaking really didn't go away until I finished eating my lunch and chilled out on the couch for a while.  I kinda figured at this point that the test result was not going to be good because i felt so awful.  Well, I got a phone call a few hours later from one of the OB docs asking if I was okay.  she said that when she looked at my bloodwork, my last blood draw was so low that I was hypoglycemic for a little bit.  I asked her about the other blood draws and she said that I had 2 abnormal results and then the last one which dropped significantly at the end.  So the doctor said that she was just checking on me but that someone would call me on Monday to set up an appointment to talk to a nutritionist.  She said that I should NOT have to take any medication to control it, which makes me think that my abnormal numbers are actually only slightly high just like they were on the last 2 tests.  So ailment number 2 is... gestational diabetes.  :(

On to ailment number 3!  for the past few weeks i've been itchy.  i know, this sounds like a pretty minor problem and you're probably thinking, "really marisa?  you're itchy?  get over it!"  it started with just my belly being itchy which is pretty normal and then I started to get itchy all over.  but i kinda figured it was just dry skin from the cold weather.  for the past 2-3 days, my hands and feet (mostly my palms and the soles of my feet) have been unusually itchy.  Then last night, my hands and feet were really really itchy.  it was almost unbearable!  So I took a shower, put lotion everywhere including slathering it all over my hands and feet, and went to bed.  When I woke up this morning, I was slightly itchy again.  so i decided to google it and what i found is that itchy hands and feet along with all-over itching with no rash could be a sign of a liver problem called cholestasis.  from what i was reading, it doesn't really affect the mother (other than the itching) but it does affect the babies if it is left untreated.  of course, by this point I was freaking out and crying.  so i called the on-call nurse and she had the doctor call me.  luckily it was one of the doctors that we like.  i explained everything to her and she told me everything that i had just read online.  she didn't want to send me out in the cold to find a place to take my blood on a sunday or send me into the hospital where i would be re-exposed to the flu.  so she said that she would have the nurse call me tomorrow so that i could set up an appointment to go in to be monitored and then they would give me the paper for the bloodwork.  she said to pay attention to the babies' movements today and if they were not moving then i should call back.  luckily, they have been moving just fine today, no more or less than usual.  in the meantime, she has already put me on the meds for the cholestasis.  

so basically, i'm still getting over the flu after two weeks, i have officially been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and it looks like i now have a liver problem.  just a side note, gestational diabetes and cholestasis are both more common if you are having multiples.  AND cholestasis only occurs in 1 percent of pregnant women... of course, i would be in that 1 percent!

In other news, we went for the 32 week ultrasound on december 31st, and the babies were looking great.  Edyn was 4lbs 4 oz and Harrison was 4 lbs 8 oz!  That's just about 9 lbs of baby!!  :)  Then on this past friday, we went in for our first monitoring appointment.  Again we were told that they are looking good, so that makes me feel a lot better even with all these ailments!!

at the friday appointment the doc was also talking about delivery.  he said that the next time we come in, he would schedule a c-section for 38 weeks, just in case we need it.  unfortunately, Edyn (baby A) is breech.  Harrison in head down and ready to go, but it doesn't matter because she's in the way and in the wrong position.  so unless she flips or i go into labor, it looks like it will be a c-section sometime around february 11th.  only time will tell!  tomorrow marks 33 weeks!!!  :)

btw, now that you've read all this, can you believe i'm still working????   lol!

28-week ultrasound and glucose tolerance test

Let's start with today!  Today we went in for the 28-week ultrasound and the babes are looking good!  Harrison weighs 2 lbs, 15 oz and his heart rate was 145 bmp... and Edyn is 2 lbs, 11 oz and her heart rate was 143 bpm.  They were not in the best positions but Harrison was definitely in a slightly better position than Edyn.  We didn't get any pictures of Edyn and we only got a few of Harrison.  But that's okay as long as they are healthy!!

Last Monday, I did the one hour glucose test.  I had to fast for an hour, then drink this sugary drink that has 50 grams of sugar, then have my blood taken an hour later.  The nurse called on Tuesday and said that my number was 137 and they like it to be below 135, close but not close enough.  SO I decide to do some research, and I find that most doctors like the number to be under 140.  If that was the case I would have passed.  If your number is over 200, then you have gestational diabetes.  

But because I didn't pass, I had to do the 3-hour glucose tolerance test.  Basically, they take your blood 4 times.  You fast for 8 hours beforehand.  Then you get there and they take your blood, then you drink 100 grams of sugar and wait an hour for them to take your blood again, then you wait another hour and there's another blood draw, then you wait one more hour and they do it one more time.  So I hear from the nurse yesterday and she said that I had 1 abnormal number.  If I had 2 or more abnormal results, I would have gestational diabetes... if I have 0 abnormal results, I'd be fine.  But I only have 1 abnormal result... of course!  My first number was 89, which was apparently fine.  My second number was 150 and they like for it to be under 180, so I pass that one.  The third number was 158 and they want your number under 155, so I fail by 3... dammit!  The fourth number was 100 and they want it under 140, so I pass.  But because I failed one test, I have to repeat the test at 32 weeks.  

So I ask what I can or should be doing, and they say, "Well you could cut out some sugar but don't cut out too much sugar cause we want to know if you have gestational diabetes" or something like that... i don't know!!  I guess we'll see what happens at 32 weeks.  The good thing is that I have off for winter break during that time, so the next glucose test and our next big ultrasound are during break which means I don't have to use sick days!!  :)

Gearing up for the baby shower on Sunday!!!  :D

27 weeks - beginning of 3rd trimester! :)

Wow!  We are officially in the 3rd trimester!!!  It's hard to believe that in about 10 weeks (give or take a few), we are going to have 2 babies!  :D

The nursery is looking pretty good and our baby shower is right around the corner.  We are very busy getting ready for Christmas... our last Christmas with just the two of us.  Even though we are obviously shopping for presents for friends and family, it's awfully hard to stay away from the baby section.  We try, but often fail miserably.  Lol!  Let's see... we also had maternity photos taken at 24 weeks, which turned out fantastic!  So all in all, it has been a busy time for us.

This past Friday, we went in to get a 3D/4D ultrasound.  We already had one pretty good 3D shot of each baby.  And even though they kinda look like monsters in there in some of the shots, it's always so nice to see them again.  :)  The ultrasound tech was even able to get both of them in one picture... however, Edyn's foot was in the middle!  She was moving all over the place and at one point, she had her feet in her face.  They were also kicking each other from time to time.  Lol!  It was pretty amusing to watch them in there.  I kept thinking, "so this is what they must be doing when I feel them moving about!"  Harrison was kind of hidden in there, but there are still some cute ones of him too!

Our next step is the 28 week ultrasound on December 4th.  Maybe we'll get even more 3D shots then.  Regardless, it'll be great to see them again... I love them.  <3  Soon enough, they will be here!!!!

Both babies! - Edyn on the left, Harrison on the right
With Edyn's foot in the middle!!  =P

Our little girl!!

Edyn again with her arm and hand in her face.

Our little boy!!

Harrison again, curled up of course.   

First kick for "daddy"

Marisa has this pregnancy app that includes a timeline of milestones during pregnancy. One of the milestones is being able to feel the baby kick on the outside of her belly, but instead of wording it that way it says "first kick for daddy". This has pretty much been an ongoing joke between us as I every so often ask her when the babies will "kick for daddy".

Anyway, we're sitting around watching Shark Tank on Friday night (we are the life of the party!) when Marisa says "come feel my belly, I think I just felt them on the outside!" And sure enough, I got to feel our babies kick for the first time! What an incredible feeling! There were a couple more moments like this throughout the weekend, and at one point we actually saw her belly move from them kicking! I have a feeling this is just the beginning and they are only going to become more and more active!

On a slightly related note, we had a doctors appointment yesterday morning to have echocardiograms on their hearts. They would not stay still! In the end the ultrasound tech got all of the images she needed to, but it was definitely a challenge. The doctor saw us after the ultrasound was over and told us that everything was normal and Marisa said "so they look good?" And he said "actually, better than good- they looked great!" He then made a comment to us about what a nice little family we have. There are so may reasons in a day to smile. Life is good.

20 weeks!!

Wow!  20 weeks!  It is hard to believe we are half way there!!  Most likely, we are a little more than half way there, but officially the little ones have made it to the half way point.  With each day that passes, it feels more and more real.  I've got quite the bump now and I have started to feel little movements from the twins.  No big kicks or punches just yet, but after seeing the size of their feet on the ultrasound today, it's only a matter of time!  ha!

Anyway, today was the big 20-week ultrasound at Maternal Fetal Medicine (the high-risk place).  They have much better ultrasound equipment compared to the OB, so we always love the pics that we get from them.  The ultrasound lasted for about an hour and a half.  And again, the ultrasound tech was awesome!  We even got a few 3d shots!!  :)  There's always a doctor that reviews the photos afterwards and comes in to check on how things are going.  Today's doctor was like a football coach!  lol  Andrea said she thinks he missed his calling in life.  =P

So the short version of this 1 1/2 hour ultrasound is that everything is looking good.  Baby A is still a girl... Edyn Carmel.  And Baby B is still a boy... Harrison Lee.  Edyn is 12 ounces and Harrison is 13 ounces.  Thats over a pound and a half of baby!!  Edyn's heart rate was 148 bpm and Harrison's was 132 bpm.  Both heart rates are in the normal range.  Everything else (heads, hands, feet, legs, etc) is looking good and normal!  Edyn was in a odd position, so it was a little harder to get her to cooperate, but after the ultrasound tech jiggled her around a bit, she was good!  Harrison was a little more chill and cooperative.  He also wanted everyone to know that he was a boy!  Over and over again!

We have two more appts coming up in the next two weeks.  One on the 17th at the OB and one of the 22nd at MFM.  The one of the 22nd is the fetal echocardiogram, so they will be looking exclusively at their hearts.  The next appts after that are not until mid-November and early December.

In other news, we recently purchased cribs, mattresses and bedding, so we are making progress in the nursery!  :D

Edyn's 3D picture - Her little arm was in front of her face!

It's a GIRL!

Edyn's profile - so cute!

Harrison's 3D picture - He also likes his hand in front of his face.  =P

It's a BOY!

Harrison's profile - Adorable!

16 week ultrasound!

We went in today for our 16-week ultrasound!  Probably the most exciting ultrasound yet!  Both babies are looking good.  Baby A had a heart rate of 150 bpm and Baby B's was 161 bpm.  They are both about 5 ounces and are very active.  We also had the blood work done for the second part of the sequential screening, so we'll be hearing more about that in 3-5 business days.

They were also able to tell us the sexes!!  Baby A is a GIRL!!!!  Baby B is a BOY!!!! 

We are so excited and grateful!  We would have been excited no matter what, obviously!  But one of each is such a blessing!!  :)  We can finally buy more clothing that is NOT yellow!!  lol

13 weeks! End of Trimester #1!

"Things will happen in your life that you can't stop, but that's no reason to shut out the world.  There's a purpose for the good and for the bad"

"We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in, I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am.  I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough."


Now that we made it through the 1st trimester, I've been thinking back on our journey so far.  I've feel like I have learned so much not just about conception and pregnancy, but also about life and personal growth.  When we started this process, I thought I would just get pregnant... easily!  With no family history of fertility problems and all diagnostic tests in normal ranges, I thought it would be a piece of cake!  The first failed IUI attempt was disappointing, but I was hopeful that the next attempt would be successful.  When the second and third attempts failed, my hope started to fade.  I was angry, sad, hopeless, and jealous all at the same time.  I found a renewed hope when we switched to Dr. P and the Sher Institute and moved on to IVF.  It was a big step, but one that I knew we had to make.  Our conversations with Dr. P were enlightening and reassuring.  However, I was still nervous and worried about another failed attempt.  So I did everything in my power to "make" this work.  When the first IVF cycle failed, I was devastated... beyond devastated.  I wanted to give up... I told myself I couldn't do it anymore.  It was too hard to hear over and over again, "I'm sorry, the pregnancy test came back negative".  I don't know if I can accurately describe what it feels like to hear that over and over again after putting your everything into a cycle... hope, energy, time, money, etc.  Some people will know what I'm talking about, but most won't.

Anyways, my point is not to make this a negative post, but instead to set the stage for the change that took place within me throughout this process.  At the start of IVF #2, I started to shift my focus to gratitude.  I thought about everything that I was grateful for...sure we had failed cycles, but we also were able to DO those cycles.  So many couples either don't have the time or can't afford it.  I became more and more grateful for what I already had... a great loving family, a wonderful wife, amazing friends, a roof over my head, a job that I love, adorable cats, etc etc.  I also began to realize that all of my worrying and at home efforts to "make" this work were useless... "I" was not going to "make" anything work.  So after getting over the initial disappointment of the first failed IVF, I had a complete change of attitude.  I didn't focus all my energies on getting pregnant or "making" it work.  I focused on being grateful.  And I prayed.  Everyone has an angel.  So I prayed to my angel and stayed positive and grateful.

Looking back now, I realized that I had a lot to learn.  I had to learn how to let go of things in the past and move on, how to persevere and stay strong, how to get back up after falling down, how to trust in something greater than me, how to be patient, how to be grateful for the present moment, how to stay positive and believe that this was going to work for us, that nothing is guaranteed, how to be okay with not being in control.  I had lessons to learn that were going to repeat themselves until I learned them.  And that is what made IVF #2 different from the other cycles, I had a completely different outlook that had slowly evolved as a result of everything that happened along the way.  Every step that we took along the way prepared us for this wonderful gift!  :)

So, long story short, I am infinitely grateful for these two wonderful little miracles of ours!  Our road wasn't always easy (like I thought it would be in the beginning), it was "bumpy".  But those "bumps" in the road taught me important lessons.

Today I am grateful that we have two healthy little ones growing and that we are officially at the end of our first trimester!!  2 more trimesters until we meet them!!  :)

11w3d

almost done with the first trimester!!  woop woop!  some people say it ends at 12 weeks and others say 13 weeks... either way, we're close.  :)

yesterday, we went into the high-risk pregnancy place for our first consultation and the sequential screening test, which included blood work and an ultrasound.  first, one of the nurses chatted with us for about 45 mins about pregnancy things and answered some of our questions.  then they took us into the ultrasound room, where they checked out everything... obviously seeing the babies was the most exciting part!  =P  they look like humans now!  we could see their little arms and legs and even their little hearts beating away.  One had a heartbeat of 176 bpm and the other was 167 bpm, both looking good!  they also measure the skin on the back of each baby's neck as a part of the sequential screening test, and that all came back normal!  yay!  the blood test won't come back for 3-5 days but they said no news is good news, so as long as i don't hear anything, it all came back as "normal".

the next step is at 16 weeks, i go back in to get another ultrasound and more blood work to give us a more conclusive result of the screening.

in the meantime, we have an appt at the OB next friday.

9 Weeks 1 Day

So I've been a little bit late to the blogging game lately. IN FACT I haven't posted since we got our BIG FREAKIN' POSITIVE!!!! Needless to say I am beyond excited and I can't wait to meet these two little people that are currently living in Marisa's belly!

So yesterday we had a Dr. appointment and an ultrasound. And guess what? Those little babies are starting to have legs and arms! It was the most amazing thing to see them moving around in there, they are really starting to take shape! When we had the 7 week ultrasound (that Marisa posted pictures of) Marisa was 7 weeks pregnant - baby A was 6 weeks 6 days old and baby B was 7 weeks 1 day old. Yesterday Marisa was 9 weeks 1 day pregnant, and both baby A and B were 9 weeks day pregnant- so it looks like everyone is getting in sync with each other. They both had strong heartbeats of 176 BPM. Everyday I just become more and more amazed by these little babies! It brings a huge smile to my face just thinking about it! So here are the latest pics.

8w3d update!

Andrea said she was going to update the blog, but that hasn't happened... so here's the most recent update.  :) We went in for the first OB visit on Monday.  It wasn't an ultrasound visit or anything fun, just talking and updating charts.  While we were there, they gave us some info about screenings that we could opt to do.  We decided to do the sequential screening which needs to be done at this other doctor's office around 11 weeks.  However, we were going to be calling this other doctor's office anyway because we technically have a "high-risk" pregnancy because we're having twins and this doctor's office specializes in high-rish pregnancies.  (don't ya love the sound of that?... we're having twins!!)  Anyway, after we left the OB, I called there to set up a consult and the screening.  Not only did they schedule that first appointment for me but they also set up a follow to the screening at 16 weeks, which is just blood work.  And they set up an appointment for our 20 week ultrasound already!

Our next ultrasound at the OB is this coming Tuesday afternoon.  Can't wait!!!!   :)  I feel like we've been waiting forever to see them again!

So I realized I haven't talked a whole lot about symptoms.  So far, no vomiting (knock on wood!).  Just nausea that started around 6 weeks.  It started off very mild, just here and there, and then progressed to more like "moderate" nausea.  Some days I'm great and I feel like I can eat whatever I want.  Other days, I stick with crackers and things that are fairly bland.  I feel like the good days are becoming less and less prominent.  I have also found that "grazing" all day is the best thing for me.  The constant eating of little snacks actually makes the nausea go away, at least for a little while.  In fact, if I eat a big meal, I feel terrible.  So snacking is for me!

I have had some crazy food aversions.  Basically anything I liked to eat is now completely repulsive.  I used to love cabbage salad... well I made some around 5 weeks and I ate it for 2 days, and on the 3rd day, I couldn't even stand to look at it when I opened the fridge, so I put it down the garbage disposal.  We also made this one bean dish that I used to love... not anymore!  I had to have Andrea get rid of that one, cause I couldn't go near it without feeling like I was going to vom!

I also have had a little bit of indigestion and heart burn, but not too bad (again, knock on wood!).  And I've had a LOT of gas!  i know, i know... TMI!!  but that's been terrible!  The one day I even burped and farted at the same time!   what the hell!  =P

Besides that, I pee all the time and sleep all the time because I'm constantly exhausted!  which is another reason why I haven't done much lately.  I'm kinda glad that my first trimester is during the summer because I don't know how I would fair at work!  AND i'm already showing just a little bit!  :)

Some days I feel like I've been hit by a truck, but I wouldn't trade any of this!  I LOVE that I'm pregnant and I LOVE that we are having twins!  and I'm so grateful for this whole experience!!

Currently, one of my favorite quotes... "Never give up, for that is just the time and place that the tide will turn".  There were times that I wanted to give up and stop trying, but I'm soooo glad we didn't!  Everything that happened (and didn't happen) along the way prepared us for these moments!  And I'm thankful for each and every moment!

7w1d

Yesterday, we hit the 7-week mark!  Our little ones are now the size of blueberries!!!  :)  We went in for our first scheduled ultrasound at Dr. P's office.  We filled him in on what happened at the hospital and how we already know that we are having twins!  Then he started the ultrasound and it was so nice to be able to see the screen this time and to hear his commentary.  At the hospital, the tech wouldn't say anything about what she saw until the Dr. was there.  Also, this time we got real pictures!!  AND we got to see and HEAR their little heartbeats!  I was pretty surprised when he said we could hear their heartbeats already because everything that I've read says that you can't really hear them until like 11-12 weeks.

Anyway, the whole ultrasound was so amazing!  We love those little blueberries sooo much!!

SO, i'm officially released from the Sher Institute, and now I have my first appointment with my OB next Monday!  I'm super excited and thankful to be at this point in the journey, BUT I sure am going to miss those folks at the Sher Institute!  They have all been sooooo wonderful and understanding about everything.  They truly are great people!

Below are the ultrasound pictures from yesterday and the video that Andrea took of one of their heartbeats.

scary... then, exciting night!

let me start by saying that everything is OK!  thank GOD!!  

here's what happened (the short-ish version)... around 7:30-ish tonight, I started having some bleeding with cramping.  but the cramping could have partially been gas.  the bleeding was not like period bleeding, but it seemed to be a little more then "spotting".  so we were worried to say the least!  we called our friends who just went through this whole process to ask for their advice.  they said to call dr. p, so we did.  he basically said that in most cases, a little bleeding doesn't necessarily mean anything bad.  he said that it could be from many many different things, and so it wouldn't help anything to go to the ER.  he said that we would sit there for 3 hours, they would probably not be able to find anything on the ultrasound, and they would send me home and tell me to rest and drink lots of fluids.  so we thought about it, and we were still stressing about the whole thing.  so being the good listeners that we are, we went to the ER anyway.  :)  and i'm so glad we did!

our friends (mentioned above) have a friend who works in the hospital.  so they put us in contact with her.  she is awesome!  she was helpful and understanding and full of insights, since she also just went through this whole process!  they took my blood to test the hcg level and then did 2 different ultrasounds.  so long story short.... we are 6w3d pregnant with TWINS!!!  eeeeeeee!!!!  AND they both have VERY healthy heartbeats (123 bpm and 119 bpm).  AND they are both up "high", which we are told is a good thing.  AND my HCG was soo high that they had to dilute it even further and test it again, so we wont know the official number until tomorrow, but that is also a good thing!  so we got good news all around.  we went from being completely stressed, saddened, and worried... to being overjoyed, relieved, and thankful!  but now i'm exhausted!!  it is almost 2 am!  

TWINS!!!!  yayay!!!!!!!!!!  :) :) :) :)   i love them soo much already!  <3

Baby A - 119 BPM

Baby B - 123 BPM

Both babies

5w4d pregnant!

I still smile every time I say I'm pregnant!  :)  I think it's finally set in that we are going to have little ones around here in 9 months!  I say little oneS because I'm pretty sure there's more than one... :D  We obviously won't know for sure until the ultrasound on July 9th (I will be 7 wks by then), and even then we still might not know for sure since plenty of people "find" another little one hiding in there during the second ultrasound.  But I'm thinking we have at least 2!  And here's why...

In my free time, I google things about beta results and, from most of the posts on the message boards, the general consensus is that beta numbers vary so much from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy that you can't really tell anything from them related to multiples.  However, there's this website call Beta Base (betabase.info), that has about 70,000 beta results from successful pregnancies broken down by how many babies (singleton, twins, triplets) and the day of the beta test (days past ovulation).   Now, I'm a "numbers" gal, so once I figured out how this website worked, I thought it was the best thing ever!!  Why waste time going from message board to message board to look up beta numbers, when I can waste time on a website that has already complied thousands of beta numbers!  =P  

After looking around on the website, I discovered a few things about my high beta numbers.  Ok, so my second test was 13dp5dt, which is 18 days past ovulation (dpo).  So first I went to the singleton pregnancies and on 18dpo, 4,085 women with singleton preg reported their beta results for that day.  Out of those women, only 61 had a number of 2200+.  Remember, my number was 2806.  Those 61 women translates into 1.5%.  So only 1.5% of the women who reported their betas on this website had a number as high as mine or higher and still had a singleton.  1.5%..... that's it!

So then I think to myself, okay let's look at the twin numbers.  So at 18dpo, 1,970 women reported their betas for successful twin pregnancies.  Only 113 women had a beta over 2500+.  So that means that 5.7% of women with twin pregnancies had a beta as high as mine or higher.  So even most of the women with twin pregnancies, had a much lower number than me on 18dpo!

Soooo then I look up triplet pregnancies!  Out of 303 reported triplet pregnancies, 89 women had a beta of 2100+ on 18dpo.  That means 29% of women had a beta as high as mine or higher.  So my number is even on the high end of that scale!  The other 71% had a lower number than me on 18dpo with a triplet pregnancy.  

I know that there is no predicting the future... and I am being patient until the day of the ultrasound, but it's still fun to think about!!  :)  

holy moly! 2nd beta results!

sooo, my first beta (10dp5dt) was 583.  just went in today for the second beta (13dp5dt)...you ready... 2806!!!!  2806!!


at this point, i'm really thinking there's more than one in there!!!  you never know, i guess there's a chance we could have just one REALLY strong one (which would be fabulous!), but something tells me there are 2 (at least)!!

omg!  it feels even more real!  i honestly could not be more thrilled!!  i'm just beaming right now!!  actually i've been beaming since tuesday!  lol

so the next step is our first ultrasound on July 9th at 1:30.  we'll know for sure at that point how many little ones are cozied up in there!!  :)