13 weeks! End of Trimester #1!

"Things will happen in your life that you can't stop, but that's no reason to shut out the world.  There's a purpose for the good and for the bad"

"We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in, I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am.  I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough."


Now that we made it through the 1st trimester, I've been thinking back on our journey so far.  I've feel like I have learned so much not just about conception and pregnancy, but also about life and personal growth.  When we started this process, I thought I would just get pregnant... easily!  With no family history of fertility problems and all diagnostic tests in normal ranges, I thought it would be a piece of cake!  The first failed IUI attempt was disappointing, but I was hopeful that the next attempt would be successful.  When the second and third attempts failed, my hope started to fade.  I was angry, sad, hopeless, and jealous all at the same time.  I found a renewed hope when we switched to Dr. P and the Sher Institute and moved on to IVF.  It was a big step, but one that I knew we had to make.  Our conversations with Dr. P were enlightening and reassuring.  However, I was still nervous and worried about another failed attempt.  So I did everything in my power to "make" this work.  When the first IVF cycle failed, I was devastated... beyond devastated.  I wanted to give up... I told myself I couldn't do it anymore.  It was too hard to hear over and over again, "I'm sorry, the pregnancy test came back negative".  I don't know if I can accurately describe what it feels like to hear that over and over again after putting your everything into a cycle... hope, energy, time, money, etc.  Some people will know what I'm talking about, but most won't.

Anyways, my point is not to make this a negative post, but instead to set the stage for the change that took place within me throughout this process.  At the start of IVF #2, I started to shift my focus to gratitude.  I thought about everything that I was grateful for...sure we had failed cycles, but we also were able to DO those cycles.  So many couples either don't have the time or can't afford it.  I became more and more grateful for what I already had... a great loving family, a wonderful wife, amazing friends, a roof over my head, a job that I love, adorable cats, etc etc.  I also began to realize that all of my worrying and at home efforts to "make" this work were useless... "I" was not going to "make" anything work.  So after getting over the initial disappointment of the first failed IVF, I had a complete change of attitude.  I didn't focus all my energies on getting pregnant or "making" it work.  I focused on being grateful.  And I prayed.  Everyone has an angel.  So I prayed to my angel and stayed positive and grateful.

Looking back now, I realized that I had a lot to learn.  I had to learn how to let go of things in the past and move on, how to persevere and stay strong, how to get back up after falling down, how to trust in something greater than me, how to be patient, how to be grateful for the present moment, how to stay positive and believe that this was going to work for us, that nothing is guaranteed, how to be okay with not being in control.  I had lessons to learn that were going to repeat themselves until I learned them.  And that is what made IVF #2 different from the other cycles, I had a completely different outlook that had slowly evolved as a result of everything that happened along the way.  Every step that we took along the way prepared us for this wonderful gift!  :)

So, long story short, I am infinitely grateful for these two wonderful little miracles of ours!  Our road wasn't always easy (like I thought it would be in the beginning), it was "bumpy".  But those "bumps" in the road taught me important lessons.

Today I am grateful that we have two healthy little ones growing and that we are officially at the end of our first trimester!!  2 more trimesters until we meet them!!  :)

11w3d

almost done with the first trimester!!  woop woop!  some people say it ends at 12 weeks and others say 13 weeks... either way, we're close.  :)

yesterday, we went into the high-risk pregnancy place for our first consultation and the sequential screening test, which included blood work and an ultrasound.  first, one of the nurses chatted with us for about 45 mins about pregnancy things and answered some of our questions.  then they took us into the ultrasound room, where they checked out everything... obviously seeing the babies was the most exciting part!  =P  they look like humans now!  we could see their little arms and legs and even their little hearts beating away.  One had a heartbeat of 176 bpm and the other was 167 bpm, both looking good!  they also measure the skin on the back of each baby's neck as a part of the sequential screening test, and that all came back normal!  yay!  the blood test won't come back for 3-5 days but they said no news is good news, so as long as i don't hear anything, it all came back as "normal".

the next step is at 16 weeks, i go back in to get another ultrasound and more blood work to give us a more conclusive result of the screening.

in the meantime, we have an appt at the OB next friday.

9 Weeks 1 Day

So I've been a little bit late to the blogging game lately. IN FACT I haven't posted since we got our BIG FREAKIN' POSITIVE!!!! Needless to say I am beyond excited and I can't wait to meet these two little people that are currently living in Marisa's belly!

So yesterday we had a Dr. appointment and an ultrasound. And guess what? Those little babies are starting to have legs and arms! It was the most amazing thing to see them moving around in there, they are really starting to take shape! When we had the 7 week ultrasound (that Marisa posted pictures of) Marisa was 7 weeks pregnant - baby A was 6 weeks 6 days old and baby B was 7 weeks 1 day old. Yesterday Marisa was 9 weeks 1 day pregnant, and both baby A and B were 9 weeks day pregnant- so it looks like everyone is getting in sync with each other. They both had strong heartbeats of 176 BPM. Everyday I just become more and more amazed by these little babies! It brings a huge smile to my face just thinking about it! So here are the latest pics.

8w3d update!

Andrea said she was going to update the blog, but that hasn't happened... so here's the most recent update.  :) We went in for the first OB visit on Monday.  It wasn't an ultrasound visit or anything fun, just talking and updating charts.  While we were there, they gave us some info about screenings that we could opt to do.  We decided to do the sequential screening which needs to be done at this other doctor's office around 11 weeks.  However, we were going to be calling this other doctor's office anyway because we technically have a "high-risk" pregnancy because we're having twins and this doctor's office specializes in high-rish pregnancies.  (don't ya love the sound of that?... we're having twins!!)  Anyway, after we left the OB, I called there to set up a consult and the screening.  Not only did they schedule that first appointment for me but they also set up a follow to the screening at 16 weeks, which is just blood work.  And they set up an appointment for our 20 week ultrasound already!

Our next ultrasound at the OB is this coming Tuesday afternoon.  Can't wait!!!!   :)  I feel like we've been waiting forever to see them again!

So I realized I haven't talked a whole lot about symptoms.  So far, no vomiting (knock on wood!).  Just nausea that started around 6 weeks.  It started off very mild, just here and there, and then progressed to more like "moderate" nausea.  Some days I'm great and I feel like I can eat whatever I want.  Other days, I stick with crackers and things that are fairly bland.  I feel like the good days are becoming less and less prominent.  I have also found that "grazing" all day is the best thing for me.  The constant eating of little snacks actually makes the nausea go away, at least for a little while.  In fact, if I eat a big meal, I feel terrible.  So snacking is for me!

I have had some crazy food aversions.  Basically anything I liked to eat is now completely repulsive.  I used to love cabbage salad... well I made some around 5 weeks and I ate it for 2 days, and on the 3rd day, I couldn't even stand to look at it when I opened the fridge, so I put it down the garbage disposal.  We also made this one bean dish that I used to love... not anymore!  I had to have Andrea get rid of that one, cause I couldn't go near it without feeling like I was going to vom!

I also have had a little bit of indigestion and heart burn, but not too bad (again, knock on wood!).  And I've had a LOT of gas!  i know, i know... TMI!!  but that's been terrible!  The one day I even burped and farted at the same time!   what the hell!  =P

Besides that, I pee all the time and sleep all the time because I'm constantly exhausted!  which is another reason why I haven't done much lately.  I'm kinda glad that my first trimester is during the summer because I don't know how I would fair at work!  AND i'm already showing just a little bit!  :)

Some days I feel like I've been hit by a truck, but I wouldn't trade any of this!  I LOVE that I'm pregnant and I LOVE that we are having twins!  and I'm so grateful for this whole experience!!

Currently, one of my favorite quotes... "Never give up, for that is just the time and place that the tide will turn".  There were times that I wanted to give up and stop trying, but I'm soooo glad we didn't!  Everything that happened (and didn't happen) along the way prepared us for these moments!  And I'm thankful for each and every moment!

7w1d

Yesterday, we hit the 7-week mark!  Our little ones are now the size of blueberries!!!  :)  We went in for our first scheduled ultrasound at Dr. P's office.  We filled him in on what happened at the hospital and how we already know that we are having twins!  Then he started the ultrasound and it was so nice to be able to see the screen this time and to hear his commentary.  At the hospital, the tech wouldn't say anything about what she saw until the Dr. was there.  Also, this time we got real pictures!!  AND we got to see and HEAR their little heartbeats!  I was pretty surprised when he said we could hear their heartbeats already because everything that I've read says that you can't really hear them until like 11-12 weeks.

Anyway, the whole ultrasound was so amazing!  We love those little blueberries sooo much!!

SO, i'm officially released from the Sher Institute, and now I have my first appointment with my OB next Monday!  I'm super excited and thankful to be at this point in the journey, BUT I sure am going to miss those folks at the Sher Institute!  They have all been sooooo wonderful and understanding about everything.  They truly are great people!

Below are the ultrasound pictures from yesterday and the video that Andrea took of one of their heartbeats.

scary... then, exciting night!

let me start by saying that everything is OK!  thank GOD!!  

here's what happened (the short-ish version)... around 7:30-ish tonight, I started having some bleeding with cramping.  but the cramping could have partially been gas.  the bleeding was not like period bleeding, but it seemed to be a little more then "spotting".  so we were worried to say the least!  we called our friends who just went through this whole process to ask for their advice.  they said to call dr. p, so we did.  he basically said that in most cases, a little bleeding doesn't necessarily mean anything bad.  he said that it could be from many many different things, and so it wouldn't help anything to go to the ER.  he said that we would sit there for 3 hours, they would probably not be able to find anything on the ultrasound, and they would send me home and tell me to rest and drink lots of fluids.  so we thought about it, and we were still stressing about the whole thing.  so being the good listeners that we are, we went to the ER anyway.  :)  and i'm so glad we did!

our friends (mentioned above) have a friend who works in the hospital.  so they put us in contact with her.  she is awesome!  she was helpful and understanding and full of insights, since she also just went through this whole process!  they took my blood to test the hcg level and then did 2 different ultrasounds.  so long story short.... we are 6w3d pregnant with TWINS!!!  eeeeeeee!!!!  AND they both have VERY healthy heartbeats (123 bpm and 119 bpm).  AND they are both up "high", which we are told is a good thing.  AND my HCG was soo high that they had to dilute it even further and test it again, so we wont know the official number until tomorrow, but that is also a good thing!  so we got good news all around.  we went from being completely stressed, saddened, and worried... to being overjoyed, relieved, and thankful!  but now i'm exhausted!!  it is almost 2 am!  

TWINS!!!!  yayay!!!!!!!!!!  :) :) :) :)   i love them soo much already!  <3

Baby A - 119 BPM

Baby B - 123 BPM

Both babies

5w4d pregnant!

I still smile every time I say I'm pregnant!  :)  I think it's finally set in that we are going to have little ones around here in 9 months!  I say little oneS because I'm pretty sure there's more than one... :D  We obviously won't know for sure until the ultrasound on July 9th (I will be 7 wks by then), and even then we still might not know for sure since plenty of people "find" another little one hiding in there during the second ultrasound.  But I'm thinking we have at least 2!  And here's why...

In my free time, I google things about beta results and, from most of the posts on the message boards, the general consensus is that beta numbers vary so much from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy that you can't really tell anything from them related to multiples.  However, there's this website call Beta Base (betabase.info), that has about 70,000 beta results from successful pregnancies broken down by how many babies (singleton, twins, triplets) and the day of the beta test (days past ovulation).   Now, I'm a "numbers" gal, so once I figured out how this website worked, I thought it was the best thing ever!!  Why waste time going from message board to message board to look up beta numbers, when I can waste time on a website that has already complied thousands of beta numbers!  =P  

After looking around on the website, I discovered a few things about my high beta numbers.  Ok, so my second test was 13dp5dt, which is 18 days past ovulation (dpo).  So first I went to the singleton pregnancies and on 18dpo, 4,085 women with singleton preg reported their beta results for that day.  Out of those women, only 61 had a number of 2200+.  Remember, my number was 2806.  Those 61 women translates into 1.5%.  So only 1.5% of the women who reported their betas on this website had a number as high as mine or higher and still had a singleton.  1.5%..... that's it!

So then I think to myself, okay let's look at the twin numbers.  So at 18dpo, 1,970 women reported their betas for successful twin pregnancies.  Only 113 women had a beta over 2500+.  So that means that 5.7% of women with twin pregnancies had a beta as high as mine or higher.  So even most of the women with twin pregnancies, had a much lower number than me on 18dpo!

Soooo then I look up triplet pregnancies!  Out of 303 reported triplet pregnancies, 89 women had a beta of 2100+ on 18dpo.  That means 29% of women had a beta as high as mine or higher.  So my number is even on the high end of that scale!  The other 71% had a lower number than me on 18dpo with a triplet pregnancy.  

I know that there is no predicting the future... and I am being patient until the day of the ultrasound, but it's still fun to think about!!  :)