BFN

Today we got a BFN or as I like to call it, "big fucking negative" on our pregnancy test. It's very disappointing to again not be pregnant, however we are just that much closer to actually getting a positive test. After getting home from the doctor today (prior to finding out the results) Marisa had started to bleed more, and so part of finding out that the test was negative was a relief because we knew that if it had actually been a positive that there was definitely something wrong. So needless to say Marisa got her period today. We won't be trying in the month of September as it is the beginning of the school year and Marisa has a lot to focus on with that, but you can bet that we will be trying in October. Third times a charm, right?

13dpiui

ugh...what a day!  let me start off by saying that i just went into work from 7:50 am - 8:50 pm.  it was kindergarten orientation and so i had to stay late...boo!

so, this is your TMI alert.... the following info may be Too Much Information, so you can skip this part if you so desire.  but i'm still posting it on here because i want this blog to be as "real" as possible....
last night, i had some beige discharge.  from what i had read up until this point, this discharge could mean implantation, which would be great!  however, the weird part is that throughout the day today the color and amount changed from hour to hour, anything from brown to red in color and from a "decent amount" to nothing.  so strange!  In addition to the "spotting", I have also had some cramping and a loss of appetite.

andrea read up on it, and apparently it could be one of three things (in order from best to worst)... implantation, my period, or an ectopic pregnancy.  there are also different things that could change the color, but that's too much to go into on here.  if you're dying to know, look it up.  :)

anyway, at this point i don't know what to think!  I'm pretty sure i'm driving myself nuts, but i'm really trying my best to take it easy.  so i'm going in for the pregnancy test tomorrow and i'm hoping that it shows that i'm definitely pregnant, but who knows!  not sure if i should feel happy, sad, scared, indifferent, etc.

7dpdiui

like i mentioned previously, i hate when people post crazy acronyms on message boards and blogs... however, i've become so good at figuring out what they're saying that it doesn't really bother me anymore!!  so, for those of you who don't know, "7dpdiui" means 7 days past double intrauterine insemination.  :)  and that's where we are today along our 2 week wait!  one week down, one more to go!  i've been having different symptoms from last time.  but at this point we don't know if that means that i'm pregnant or if the symptoms are from using clomid this cycle and not having to use prometrium.

so the wait continues!  one more week to go!  it's going to be a busy week which is actually a good thing.  hopefully, we'll be so busy we won't be thinking about the 2ww.  we have an exciting wedding this saturday, pride in the park on sunday, and then i'm actually back to work on monday, tuesday, and wednesday for inservice days, and kindergarten orientation on wednesday evening.  so that takes us right up to our thursday morning pregnancy test!

in other news... yesterday which was 11 months after our wedding, we decided to make it "official" in nyc!  so now we have an actual marriage certificate!  it was such a great day!  we were exhausted and definitely tired of waiting around all day, but it was all worth it.  :)   <3 you boo!

progesterone

i went in this morning to check my progesterone levels and everything looked good!  last cycle, which was a natural cycle, my progesterone was a 5.08 and they wanted it closer to 8.  so that's why i had to take the prometrium.  for this cycle, which was a medicated cycle (clomid 50mg), they want my progesterone level at 15, and mine was 15.1, sooooo NO prometrium this time!  :)  the doctor mentioned that the clomid would probably help with the progesterone levels too, so it appears that she was right.  at this point, we are stuck waiting until the 25th for the pregnancy test!!  ahhh, it's just awful!!  =P

since, we didn't do acupuncture this time, i'll be eating a lot of pineapple and sunflower seeds, which supposedly help with implantation.  cross your fingers!

Try #2, day #2

So here we are on the 2nd day of our 2nd insemination. I'm currently sitting in my car in the parking lot at the fertility center with Marisa reclined in the seat next to me listening to her iPod and meditating, so I thought I would use this time to explain the process of what we go through each time we "try" to get pregnant.

First we wait for Marisa's cycle to start, on day 1 we call the doctor to let her know this has happened, and on day 3 we go to the Dr. for an ultrasound. This ultrasound is done to make sure everything is okay and that there are no cysts. We also get 2 prescriptions this day, one for Ovidrel and one for Clomid. The Clomid are pills that Marisa has to take from days 3-7, and we pick them up at our local pharmacy. The Ovidrel is a shot that needs to be mail ordered, so at this point we have to call them to arrange delivery because it has to stay refrigerated. At this time we also have to call the cryobank to arrange the delivery of our specimans to the Dr.

On day 12 we go back to the Dr. for another ultrasound, this one is to check for follicles, and to see how many there are and how big they are. The number and size of follicles you produce will determine how many and how healthy your eggs that are being released are. Typically women only produce one follicle on their own, but with the assistance of a drug like Clomid they can grow multiple follicles. Our first try (a natural cycle with no Clomid) Marisa had one healthy follicle at 19, and this try she has 1 healthy follicle at 24- so while she still only grew one follicle even with the help of Clomid, it is much larger than last time we tried, and therefor more capable of producing a stronger egg.

So anyway, on day 12 we find out when we can start insemination, which has typically been the following two days. That night we go home and Marisa has to give herself a shot in the stomach (this is the Ovidrel shot) which will guarantee that she ovulates during the next 24 hours. The next two days (insemination days) are exactly the same. We get up and go into the doctor at 7 am to sign off on paperwork and labels for the vials. We then get to leave the Dr., but have to be back by 8:30 for the insemination. This time period usually consists of me going to dunkin donuts and getting a coffee, and then sitting in my car in the parking lot of the Drs. office while Marisa meditates and tries to relax in the passenger seat next to me (this is where I am right now). At 8:30 we go back in to the Dr. and start the insemination. The actual insemination takes about 5 minutes, and then we relax in the room for an additional 10 minutes just to give the swimmers a chance to figure out where to go. As I said, we do this same thing 2 days in a row, and then 3 days after this we need to go back to the Dr. to have Marisa's progesterone levels checked. This is a blood test they do this to make sure that there is a healthy environment for a fertilized egg to latch onto, and if the level isn't high enough she will have to use progesterone suppositories (she did on our first try).

We have to wait 2 weeks from the date of our 2nd day of insemination to go back to the Dr. to have a pregnancy test done. Those two weeks are the hardest, especially since we now found that Marisa gets pregnancy symptoms from the Ovadrel shot and the progesterone even if she isn't pregnant- so it's almost a false sense of security. So that's the process, a lot of work isn't it? This just goes to show you how badly we want to have children. I have to go now, it's time to inseminate!

one follicle

we went in for the ultrasound today... only one follicle, which i'm pretty sure they said was 24mm.  so it's a nice size, but it's only one.  and since i made one 19mm follicle on my own last cycle, it doesn't seem like the clomid did much of anything for me.  i could be wrong though, maybe those 5 extra mm will make a difference!   hopefully!  :)

now i have to do the hcg shot tonight at 8:30pm, and then insemination tomorrow and thursday.  so of course, as usual, i can't pull myself away from reading fertility blogs, message boards, etc!  we're hoping for a positive this cycle!!!

update!

so we're back from vacation.  it was relaxing, but it's nice to be home.  my diet this week was a little out of whack, but i didn't drink any alcohol and i tried to make as many good food choices as i could.  andrea confirmed that my food choices were not that bad.  :)  so i took the clomid on days 3-7 of my cycle, and now i'm taking robitussin, 2 tbsp 3x per day.  we read that clomid causes 30% of women to have "hostile" cervical mucus (not good!), so the robitussin is supposed to make it less "hostile".  you can imagine the jokes we have about "hostile mucus"!  lol

on tuesday, aug 9th, we go in for the next ultrasound.  hopefully, we will be able to inseminate on wednesday and thursday, which ironically is the 10th and 11th of the month, the same dates as last month.  i'm hoping that taking clomid, robitussin, and eating lots of yams will help make it happen this month!  i smile just thinking about it!

on another note, i had a dream last night that i had 4 follicles!  lol  one was 26 mm and one was 22 mm and the other two were in the teens.  i apparently have very specific dreams about follicles now!  weird... i didn't even know what a follicle was a few months ago!

more info to come in the next few days!