Back at it again...

So this morning we went to the doctor for another day 3 ultrasound and it looks like we will be able to start trying again this month!!!!!!!!! It seems like we just did this, but it's kind of nice not having to just sit around and wait. The doctor gave Marisa a prescription for Clomid that she will be taking for the next 5 days (this will cause her body to release more eggs and make the chances of getting pregnant better). Once we are back from vacation we get to go back to the doctor for another ultrasound to determine what day we start inseminations. We're just as excited to try as we were the first time, even maybe more-so because now we are SO ready! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed!

thinking about names..... again

i know, i know...  i can't help it!!!  here's the latest on names...

we've pretty much settled on Eden Quinn for a girl ("Edie" for short).  but we've been up in the air about boy names.  we were originally thinking Greyson Cole or Augusten Lee.  Greyson is now out of the running, so i was trying to find other options.  even though i like Augusten, i like to have options!  sooo.. i found 2 more boy names, Jaxson and Owen.... we also like Graham again.  those are the top four: Augusten, Jaxson, Owen, and Graham.  I'm not sure which one i like best, i don't think Andrea knows which one she likes either.  so we thought that we should think of middle names for these new ones, which is how this blog post came about... because we realized that we should write this shit down before we forget!  =P

Augusten Lee

Graham Douglas

Graham Hudson

Graham Maddox

Jaxson Scott

Jaxson Cole

Jaxson Edward

Jaxson Parker

Owen Lucas

Owen Parker

Owen Maddox

Owen Douglas

And that's the list!  hopefully we can get it narrowed down to one that we BOTH love as much as Eden Quinn!  :)

Bad day

So as Marisa said in the last post, we got a negative result to the pregnancy test from yesterday. While both of us are very fortunate in this whole process that there isn't anything wrong health-wise, getting a negative result is completely heartbreaking. Yesterday was rough. While staying positive throughout the two week wait, we also thought we were prepared if the test result was a negative, but the truth is nothing can really prepare you for that. It's really difficult to grasp the fact that people "just get pregnant" or that it happens "accidentally" and we are trying so hard. I know that one of these times we will get pregnant, its just a little discouraging when it doesn't happen. We will get through this though, and everything always works it's way out in the end.

negative... :'(

a little sad today... we went in for the pregnancy test and it was negative.  i had an awful lot of symptoms,  but in the end i guess they were all the result of the ovidrel shot and the prometrium.  in fact, i'm still have sharp but brief pains and cramping.  next time, i'm not even thinking about symptoms, i'll end up driving myself insane.  the nurse told me to stop taking the prometrium and that stopping the prometrium would cause me to have my period.  depending on the dates of this cycle, we may be able to try in august, but maybe not.  so we may have to wait until september.  the nurse said something about doing two consecutive cycles... that sometimes there are problems with cysts, but she made it sound like this was not common.  so i'm thinking that she mentioned it just so i knew it was possible.

i decided that i'm going to use clomid for the next cycle.  andrea was fine with this decision, too.  i know that we only tried once, but i think i want to increase my chances as much as possible without going too crazy.  and clomid seems to be a good option.

in the meantime, i pretty much don't feel like doing much of anything on this sad, sad, rainy day.  andrea and i had decided a couple days ago to go out to dinner tonight regardless of the results of the pregnancy test.  but i'm not sure if i want to go anymore.  i don't know if it will make me feel better (because the food is delicious!) or worse (because this could have been a celebratory dinner, and now it's just dinner).

i know what i should do... and that is stop feeling so bad about this and realize that it happens to most people.  most people do not get pregnant on their first try... but i just really really wanted it to work so bad.  so i guess that although i'm terribly disappointed, i need to remain hopeful.

2ww

for the record, i hate when people use weird acronyms like "2ww" in blog / message board posts.  i can never understand what the hell they're trying to say!  for those of you who are challenged like me, "2ww" means "2 week wait".  and we're in the midst of our 2 week wait as we speak!

on monday july 11th, our second insemination, i had some pretty hardcore cramping.  if i am pregnant i'm pretty sure that it all started on the 11th rather than the 10th.  since then, i've been tired, moody, hungry, dehydrated, and occasionally crampy.  i'm also breaking out on my chest and back with these tiny little pimples, most of which you can't see but you can feel them.  thats probably tmi, but oh well!  so you might think, "oh she sounds pregnant".  but no, you can get these same symptoms from the ovidrel shot too.  so we're stuck waiting until the 25th to find out.

on the 14th, i went to get blood work done to check my progesterone level.  apparently my level was a 5 and they would like to see it more like an 8.  so now i have to take medicine for that too.  however, as i was reading about it i found that most people do take medication to raise their progesterone, so i was feeling better about it after hearing that.

at this point we just have to wait... which is almost worse than when we were busy getting all kinds of tests done!  i'm obviously busy with my class at ku, but when i'm there, all i can think about is taking a pregnancy test!  =P   so when i get home, i try to relax and stay stress free.  i do a little meditation and take a little nap and maybe do a little cleaning.  but i just want the "2ww" to end soon... with a positive!!

i'll be holding my breath until july 25th!!!!

we did it!

sometimes it's really just so hard to put emotions into words.. and since marisa already gave a run down of the past couple of days i've decided to just fill in some dorky little details.

so on saturday when we went in for the ultrasound and the doctor told us that we would be ready to start insemination on sunday, we were both so excited that when the doctor left the room we started dancing around. the rest of the day was filled with loving glances at each other follow by "we're going to make a baby!"

on sunday we were getting ready to leave for the doctor's office to go inseminate and marisa goes, "i'm surprised you didn't make a mix cd for this... you make a mix cd for everything!" all i could do was start laughing, because i had in fact made a mix cd to listen to on the way to the doctor's office. in case your curious, here's the track list... and in case you couldn't figure it out, the them is baby lol.

• All My Life - KCI and JoJo (this song is just on here for the beginning where they start saying baby over and over again lol)
• Baby Baby- Amy Grant
• Baby Baby Baby - TLC
• Baby - Justin Bieber
• Be My Baby - The Ronettes
• Hey Baby - No Doubt
• Pretty Baby - Vanessa Carlton
• Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey
• Push It - Salt-N-Pepa (Marisa was a little confused by this one at first because all she could think of was the part where they say, "push it real good" and i had to remind her of the "ooh baby baby, ba-baby-baby"
• Baby Mine - Bette Midler
• Baby, I Love Your Way - Big Mountain
• Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns n' Roses

do I like all of the songs on there? not necessarily, however i knew i had made the right decision in making the mix when we started singing along to "Always Be My Baby" at the top of our lungs so early in the morning.

it really is the little things, and i'm so glad that marisa and i can have these moments together and that one day we'll be able to share them with our child :)

and now the wait begins!

here we go!

so the ultrasound yesterday showed that we were ready to inseminate today and tomorrow (7/10-7/11)!!!  the doctor said i was ovulating from the right side and i had one big healthy follicle that was "ready to blow", lol!  he said he would aim for the right!  soo, today we inseminated for the first time!  we had to go in at 7 AM to sign paperwork, then leave and come back at 8:15.  The actual insemination took about 5 minutes... it really was over before i knew it started.  i stayed there for another 10 minutes laying down, and then we were out of there by 8:40.

i missed a few things here, so let me backtrack... i set up an appointment for saturday (yesterday) and monday (tomorrow) for acupuncture.  yesterday's acupuncture appointment was amazing!  so relaxing and stress-relieving!  so i was already feeling pretty good.  I couldn't go in for an appointment today because they are not open, but i have these apps for my ipod that help you meditate and relax, so i did one for a half hour before the insemination and one for a half hour afterwards.  overall today has been a very relaxing and stress-free day, which is pretty important at this point!

i also had to give myself the ovadrel shot to make sure that I was ovulating.  long story short, it wasn't that difficult.  the only thing that was a pain is that my insurance wouldn't cover it, unless i filled the prescription through mail-order which obviously wasn't going to happen because it needed it right then.  so hopefully if i need this shot again, we can figure it out ahead of time so that we don't have to use our own money for something that the insurance would have covered.  this is mostly my nurse's fault.  :)  even though she was assigned to me, she "drops the ball" a lot.  we actually call her a "unicorn" because she's like a fantasy character... we weren't sure if she existed for a while because we never actually saw or talked to her.  at this point, i've obviously talked to her and i've seen her once, but i feel like i get more information from some of the other people there.  and technically, she should be the one passing along important information.  she's on vacation this week, so she wasn't even there today.  and actually, our doctor wasn't there either, we had another doctor, for today and yesterday, who we kind of liked even better.

anyway, tomorrow we inseminate again at around 8:15-8:30.  :D  and then another acupuncture appointment around 12:30.  we could not be happier at this point! and we are thinking positive thoughts and hoping, wishing, praying for the absolute best outcome!

getting closer...

so we are getting very close to trying to conceive for the first time!!  :D  i can't even really explain how exciting it is!  i mean, obviously, i always wanted to have kids.  and then even through this whole process, you know that you're doing all these tests in order to get pregnant.  but i feel like it didn't completely "click" for me until this week... the week leading up to our first try!!  yaaaaay!!  so excited and soooo hoping for the best!!

since we're not using fertility drugs (although we might, if it doesn't work after a couple times), we found out that acupuncture helps to increase your chances of trying to conceive and helps to eliminate stress.  i read about the benefits on several different websites.  plus, we actually know another couple who had an acupuncture treatment before and after their IVF and they are now pregnant!  (so happy for them, btw!)

so our schedule for the next few days is pretty jam-packed!  we have one or possibly two ultrasounds, two inseminations if everything looks good, two or possibly three acupuncture appointments, a birthday party, a bridal shower, a double date, and a partridge in a pear tree!!

cross your fingers!

sooo much has happened since i posted last.  first i thought my "day 1" for this cycle was on tuesday june 28th.  i call rma and they say to come in tomorrow, wednesday the 29th for the ultrasound.  initially i was told that this ultrasound would be done on day 3 (thursday).  so i go in on wednesday and the doctor says, "no... today is probably you're day 1, not yesterday".  then i had to go back on friday, july 1st.  so we get up bright and early before we leave for the beach.  luckily, this time the doctor says that everything looks good to try this cycle.

however, since there is some confusion about which day is "day 1", she wants us to go in on saturday, july 9 for an ultrasound and then depending on the results one of two things could happen.  1) we need to come back on sunday for another ultrasound and then hopefully inseminate on monday and tuesday OR  2) everything looks good on saturday so we have to come back to inseminate on sunday and monday

in other news, after a long time on the phone last week, we bought 10 vials of sperm.  we had two donors in mind.  one who was pretty much just like andrea, same ethnicity, same interests, same features.  the other donor had similar ethnicity and features, but very different interests and beliefs.  i told andrea that either one of the donors is fine with me.  the donor we decided on was the latter.  even though he had different interests and beliefs, the good thing about him is that his parents have four sets of twin siblings.  and two couples who had used him shared that they were pregnant with multiples.  one who had twins and one who had triplets.  i think this was what caught andrea's attention.  ;)  she's all about getting the most bang for her buck!  although, i'm pretty excited at the prospect of having twins too!

more updates to follow next week.  until then we'll be doing four things... thinking positively, staying stress-free, praying, and crossing our fingers!!  :)